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Friday, March 25, 2011

The National Toilet Episode 1 - 3/25/11

It’s time now for The National Toilet weekly Podcast!
Episode One: Friday March 25, 2011

Hello everybody, and welcome to The National Toilet – the podcast where we flush the worst of society down where it should go… 

First up: It’s only Friday, but already the reviews are in for SuckerPunch, the quote-unquote New action/fantasy movie from asshole Zach Snyder, responsible for such turds as 300 and Watchmen. Now, even the fan boys have turned against him, with the sycophantic Ain’t It Cool News saying “It’s like spending two hours in the mind of a chronically masturbating thirteen year old boy who can’t keep his hands off his thing long enough to hold a halfway decent conversation.” (Flush)

Next, we check in with Spider-Man: Turn of the Dark – perhaps the Worst Musical in the History of Broadway – and that’s saying something! TWO exciting new developments in this turd that just won’t seem to go down. First – another actor injured – that’s right, actress T.V. Carpio – who replaced previously injured actress Natalie Mendoza in the role of Arachne. The show, whose opening has been delayed 5 times, yet still charges premium prices, also fired its choreographer Daniel Ezralo, let go it’s “greek chorus”and this is after giving the boot to its director, Julie Taymor. Spider-Man TURN OFF THIS SHOW.

And in the Shithole this week – General Electric! It was revealed this week that GE, whose motto “We bring good things to life” is in direct contrast to its war making machinery, reported $5.1 billion in U.S. profits. The amount of taxes it paid? Zero. In fact, it actually got a $3.2 billion dollar windfall, thanks to former flushee Charlie Rangel (FX) who extended the tax break in exchange for (FX) after a GE rep literally got down on bended knee.

Meanwhile… war! Or – excuse me – Intervention! As cities and counties go belly up, teachers pilloried and fired, unions busted, America does what it does best (FX). The US launched at least 161 Tomahawk Missiles at Libyan… well it’s not exactly clear WHAT they are firing at… for a cost of at least $1.41 million EACH But, really, that’s just chump change for dollars being poured in to the “real” wars in Iraq, Afghanistan and the “secret” one in Pakistan. Money that is literally being flushed down the… 

And sleaze bag/clothing mogul Dov Charney bubbled up this week, with four MORE lawsuits filed against the American Apparel owner. The company, which takes tacky, outdated, slutty fashions and repositions them as hip with stone-faced girls in Hustler-like positions, is used to such lawsuits from its dictator/owner, as he has been sued at least 4 times before. In an interview, the accuser said: “Mr. Charney, wrapped in a towel, invited her to his bedroom to talk about a job. Once there, she said he undressed her and tried to have sex… and that he tried to take photographs.”

Well, that’s it for now, this first edition of The National Toilet. There’s so much shit out there – let us know what or who YOU’D Please Like our facebook page at and post your candidates on our wall.

Until then….

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